When you fall in love

Yes, we can’t choose who to love. We don’t know when we will fall in love. It’s just happen.

Using the assumption that I believe in “love”, I will let it happen but controlled. If I just hesitate, it would grow more and more. It’s because you’ll think of him/her more and more when you’re trying to deny your feeling.

So, borrowing a recently-studied-term-in-my-PCPM-class, which is “managed floating”, just let your feeling “float” but “managed”. It has to stay on certain corridor. You will need upper limit and lower limit, so your feeling will move inside a band that you have determined.

How to set the limits? You can show your affection, you can give him/her more attention, but don’t overdo it like you’re already someone special. Don’t completely ignore him/her or trying to avoid her, trust me it will get worse if you’re trying to compress whatever you have in your heart. The limits will depends on how the society will see you and how sensitive your “particular person” is.

But once again, that description assumed that I believe in “love”. I don’t believe in love. What I know is that man and woman attract each other, and when they feel fit, they’re declaring that they’re in love in a certain relationship. For me that’s not love. That’s commitment; to be with a particular person for certain events. So what will I do under the condition that I don’t believe in love?

I choose who I will have the commitment with regardless of whichever the feeling will be; grow more, vanish, fade away, completely gone, irresistible — whatever. For me, love is only for Allah and Prophet Mohammad SAW and direct family. Feeling for the opposite sex is not that eternal. It will soon end at a point, and what’s left is your commitment or memories.

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